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Eimear Moran — A Feather On The Breath Of God

Interview by Renate McNay

Renate:  Hello and welcome to conscious.tv. My name is Renate McNay and my guest today is Eimear Moran. Hello Eimear. Eimear is here from Ireland. And thank you for coming all the way to be with us.

Eimear:  Thank you for asking me.

Renate:  And Eimear is a mother, an author, and a spiritual gardener. And I have here a photocopy of her book which is called The Garden Path Home To Eden. Eventually it will look...

Eimear:  Beautiful!

Renate:  ... different, beautiful [both laugh] — A New Way of Seeing Love, Self, and Garden. And this book is beautiful and it has wonderful pictures in it which Eimear took, and I learned a lot about nature. And in her own words she says, 'my awakening happened not only in the garden, but with the garden.' And we'll find out very soon what happened. So, Eimear, let's start with how your spiritual path started. You were telling me the catalyst for your journey was actually a car accident.

Eimear:  That's right, yeah.

Renate:  So you drove down... you had a brand new car, you drove down a small lane in Ireland, and your son was in the car. He was four years old...

Eimear:  That's right, yeah.

Renate:  ... in a little car seat...

Eimear:  ... a little car seat, yeah, on a really frosty morning...

Renate:  Yes.

Eimear:  ... and I knew that the roads were really bad, so I was going really slow. But I went around a corner and the car veered across the road, and there were two cars coming towards me. And then I went back across the road again, up in the ditch, and over on the roof. And the two cars passed by and we were sitting between two corners, upside-down. And I always remember looking back and seeing my little... my son hanging out of the roof, as such, in the car seat, and the little blond head dangling... the little blond hair, you know. But there wasn't a whimper out of him at all. There was just... There was an initial moment of panic when I realised that I was sitting upside-down in the car between two corners; but then something really amazing happened in that the car was completely wombed in beautiful golden light. And it was like a protective barrier of light. And I knew that we were completely safe. I could have stayed there forever; we were just completely safe.

Renate:  That must be amazing; you must have been so surprised when all this golden light was there...

Eimear:  It was really, really beautiful. And as I said, Connor never cried.

Renate:  Yeah. And you told me that these two guys from the cars got out, opened the door, and all the light...

Eimear:  It was like as if they broke, you know, the shield. And as soon as they opened the door, all of the light just went into their face. And it was just so beautiful.

Renate:  And what did you think was this light? I mean, did you know anything about spiritual things before?

Eimear:  No... I mean, it was so unusual. I didn't know what it was. But it changed my life. My life changed from that day. Because at that time I was in a really... I was in a job that I had loved for twenty years, but when circumstances changed then I found myself really unhappy in that job. And I went in the next day and I handed in my notice. And I think that was the beginning of the journey for me.

Renate:  Yes... Yes... And what happened then in your journey? I mean, you went through a period, you were telling me...

[To the viewers] Actually, I have to tell you: a few weeks ago, before the interview, I had a Skype meeting with Eimear, and after our talk and I heard her story, she told me I was the first person she ever talked [to] about [this]. So it's a very innocent story of somebody's spiritual path. [both laugh]

Okay, so you were telling me that some kind of 'dark night of the soul' started, and you were unhappy and you... left your job, but you also lost all your beliefs in anything, even in God.

Eimear:  Yes. I suppose... I think it happens to a lot of women that at some point in their lives that they, you know... we spend our lives caring for people, and we give our lives looking after everybody, making sure they're okay, cherishing them, nurturing them...

Renate:  I know this pattern. [laughs]

Eimear:  Yeah, you know, and then one day you sort of... you stop and you realise, and you say, 'who's looking after me?' And, you know, we validate ourselves by our different roles. And at that stage I just felt I had given so much and done so much; it's the best that I could do. All I knew was that I had done the best that I could do. But it just didn't seem to be enough. And so all of the roles sort of had become obsolete to me, you know. And where I was able to function on an everyday... with whatever I needed to do... but inside I had no validation anymore for me, for my soul. And I was sort of a bit annoyed with God as well.

Renate:  So why do you think women have this pattern?

Eimear:  I think it's our natural caring.

Renate:  Right.

Eimear:  It is the role that we are given in the world.

Renate:  And it's also the role Mother Earth has...

Eimear:  It is, yeah, but it's...

Renate:  It's unconditional love, to us.

Eimear:  Unconditional, exactly, unconditional love. You know, and I think... as I said, I think it happened to me a little bit earlier than it may happen to most women at that stage.

Renate:  So you had a garden at home and you basically felt you were free-falling, and the garden was the only place where you felt held.

Eimear:  Yes. It's the free-fall from all of those roles. The garden was someplace that I could sit and I didn't have a role. I just could sit and enjoy it. And because of the car accident, I had this idea that there was something more to reality than we normally assume. And I felt that in the garden, in the energy of the garden. And I still remember the day... I remember the tree I looked at when I decided I wasn't going to believe in God anymore. I actually made a decision, because this energy from the Earth was something I knew, was something I could relate to.

Renate:  Yeah, you were telling me that you always saw something divine in Nature, already when you were a little child. Tell us this beautiful story: when you were five years old you went into the garden of your grandfather...

Eimear:  That's right, yeah. He lived in a lovely place called Spring Valley near the town of Summerhill — I mean it sounds idyllic even, doesn't it? And I loved going down there on holidays because it was in the country; you woke every morning to the sound of pigeons and birds. And on his boundary wall there was a spring, so you could go out every morning and drink this beautiful water that came from the earth. And it just seemed so magical to me. But one of the first memories I have is that one that you're speaking about: I came out the door of his cottage and there was a really tall laurel hedge that grew along the sides of his house. And the sky was very grey and very, to me, strange-looking. And I wandered around the far side of the hedge and couldn't believe that over there everything was completely white; it was snowing, and it was just like a magic wonderland. So I was totally entranced with this and I was running back around the hedge, 'It's not snowing here!' Back around the other side, 'Oh, it's snowing here!' [laughs]. I just was completely mesmerised with the magic of this. And I noticed in the drift of snow at the bottom of the hedge that there was a little snowdrop. And I remember so well just kneeling down beside it and looking at it and saying, 'Oh, this must be God — how else could something so beautiful come up through all that snow?' So I always had a great love of...

Renate:  So Nature already started playing with you then! [laughs]

Eimear:  It did! As I said, my earliest memory...

Renate:  Yeah, very sweet. Okay, so continue telling us about your garden, what happened... you started to go in your garden and you were sitting there and...

Eimear:  I started a practice, without knowing that it was a practice.

Renate:  And what was the practice?

Eimear:  Well, I would leave my son to school every morning, come home, make a cup of tea, go out to the garden bench — no matter the weather, you know, with an umbrella or with a rug, whatever was needed. And I would sit every morning for nearly an hour every day, just listen to the birds, just watch the changing light through the seasons, just watch and listen to what was going on in the garden.

Renate:  So it was kind of a practice of awareness or a kind of a meditation?

Eimear:  It was an escape!

Renate:  It was an escape? [laughs]

Eimear:  Yeah. It was where I felt at peace. It was... I didn't have any roles. I didn't have to do anything. I literally just sat and watched and listened.

Renate:  And was there something going on in your mind, or was your mind peaceful? Did you think about life or...?

Eimear:  Yes, it's not as if I tried to meditate, that I wasn't... you know, that I wanted to get to a peaceful place. It was just someplace safe. I felt safe and peaceful. So if something came in it would... I'd let it go through, or I would think about things... But I used to focus on a particular plant. And the first year I focused on a grass, a Stipa, and watched how it changed through the year, and how the panicles would come in July and then it would bleach out in the winter, and then in the spring there's just that... just that specific moment when the life would come back into it again. And it is magical when you just look at something over the year and over the seasons. So, as I said, it was just a practice. It was what sustained me for two years, every day.

Renate:  And then one day...

Eimear:  And then the second year it was my beloved Hawthorn. I decided to focus on the hawthorn tree for the second year and, you know, the bare branches...

Renate:  Why did you choose the hawthorn tree?

Eimear:  Because it was... it was the hive of activity because the birds were always there. So it just naturally... I don't know. It wasn't a choice, it just happened. You know, when I watched the leaves just starting to come out in the springtime and then the beautiful white flowers then in May, and the smell is just... I think it just says 'summer.' Summer is arriving when you smell the hawthorn. And then after the flowers there's beautiful red berries, and then it came back to that bleak state of the winter again. And, you know, when the branches are bare and it's dank and grey, and there's nothing happening on those wet end-of-winter days... And then one day I sat and I looked at it and I said, 'I must look just as bleak and bare to you as you do to me.' And then the words changed everything.

Renate:  What happened in this moment?

Eimear:  It was just so beautiful. I was just enveloped in this world of love. It wasn't a feeling; it was a reality of love. You would imagine you could touch it or taste it — everything was infused, and was, Love. It was beautiful.

Renate:  I can sense that in this moment. [laughs] It just transmitted!

Eimear:  It was really... it changed everything. It was perfection; and it wasn't just blissful, it was actually exquisite perfection.

Renate:  So Nature, everything... was perfect the way it is...

Eimear:  Everything was perfect. And everything was full of beauty — it was beauty-full — the trees, the grass, the plants, myself...

Renate:  Was it a different beauty than you experienced before — because Nature was always beautiful for you — but what was the difference? It seems to me it was a different type of beauty.

Eimear:  Yes, it was. It was the form; it was the actual expression, everything...

Renate:  It's difficult to get into words, I think.

Eimear:  Yes it is! It was living beauty. And no matter what stage anything was at, it still was beauty-full. Whether it was a leaf just coming out or whether it was a plant dying, everything was beauty-full, perfection, exquisite.

Renate:  And in this moment how did you see yourself?

Eimear:  Absolutely beautiful, as in totally perfect, not wanting anything, not needing anything, being totally worthy, totally perfect, just... perfect.

Renate:  Completely simple.

Eimear:  Just simplicity itself, yeah, not needing anything, just being totally perfect.

Renate:  And you were telling me that also in this moment of the experience there was so much information downloaded to you. Or you started to tap into Nature's intelligence, you know, and you understood the nature of life.

Eimear:  Yes.

Renate:  You knew what God was.

Eimear:  Yeah. It was amazing. It wasn't just — as I said, it wasn't just an experience; it was a reality. And there was an amazing download of information. I knew I had the answer to everything, and it was Love. But there was so much information really that there were a couple of things that I knew straight off. The first one was that I'm worthy — and having come from a place that I felt unworthy in all my roles, that was the greatest gift that you could ever receive. The second thing then that I knew instantly was that life continues; there is no death, there is no ending; that you are a continuous soul. So I lost my fear of dying immediately.

Renate:  How did you start, after that, seeing the world around you?

Eimear:  It's amazing really because you look at everything totally differently then.

Renate:  So it wasn't an experience you had; you seem to have changed reality?

Eimear:  Yes.

Renate:  It's like you live in a different dimension altogether? [laughs]

Eimear:  Well, it's just your understanding is different.

Renate:  The knowingness.

Eimear:  The knowingness. You can't un-know it. You can't.

Renate:  So isn't, now, the work to embody and integrate the knowingness into daily living?

Eimear:  It's been a long journey. [both laugh]

Renate:  It's a long journey. It's the toughest journey!

Eimear:  It is, yeah.

Renate:  Awakening seems to be the easy part of it. [laughs]

Eimear:  It's only then the work starts. But I had had no idea of awakening; I didn't know what had happened to me, so all I knew was that I had met God. But 'God' was too small a word for it; it was much more. So I had to try and learn then how to... what was this. You know, I had no words to describe it. I had no understanding of awakening; I didn't know what had happened. So it started a long process.

Renate:  And how did you learn it?

Eimear:  Um... well, the first...

Renate:  I know you discovered conscious.tv eventually! [laughs]

Eimear:  Yes, exactly, I did! You know, as you do... you're sort of led to things that can help, and I looked at so many of your interviews, and it's given me so many... so much vocabulary to be able to understand...

Renate:  ... gave you all these concepts to fit your experience into...

Eimear:  Yeah, exactly. And still in all, I know that I have to make it up myself. I have to know, for me, how I see it. I don't want just to adopt anything. I need to know, myself.

Renate:  So what you're saying is, you want to stay true to your own experience and not take somebody else's experience or teaching on. You stay true. Your teacher will always be Nature.

Eimear:  Yes. Nature and Life.

Renate:  Nature and Life, yes. You said that you learned how life started communicating with you; you learned the language of life, or you learned to interpret the language of life.

Eimear:  Yes, because there's a lot more to reality than we're led to believe, you know. It's a much richer experience when you begin to communicate with it... when you're open to how it shows itself.

Renate:  Yeah... yeah. So how did.... can you give us an example of how life started to communicate with you, or how... I mean, you were telling me this one little story that one day you were in the garden, and you turned around and there was standing an older man.

Eimear:  That's right, yeah.

Renate:  And... do you want to tell us or should I tell it? [laughs]

Eimear:  Yeah, it was... I was working in the garden one day and a man had just gone by my gateway and I waved and said hello, and went back to my work. And then I turned around and there was this man standing beside me, and he was...

Renate:  And you didn't know who that was?

Eimear:  No. And he was a Middle-Eastern man, dressed very simply in a camel-coloured coat, and he had these amazing eyes. You know, they were totally full of love, but they were sort of blood-shot; they were sort of full of compassion as well — an amazing quality to his eyes. And he said, 'are you a gardener?' And I said, 'I am.' And he said, 'you know, there's an apple tree, with little small apples.' And we happened to be standing under a crab apple tree, so I bent down and picked up an apple and I said, 'is this what you're speaking of?' And he said, 'yes, yes.' And he took the apple and he split it open and he said, 'if you boil these apples, the pips hold a great remedy for toxins in the body; and if you drink the water and the juice from them it is very good for you.' And he spoke for half an hour. I'd love to have taped him because there was so much information. He knew so many things about plants; that plants didn't just grow where they wanted to grow, but that they grew where they could bring something, where they had something to offer, where something was needed.

Renate:  Yeah, there was one plant he pointed out where he said, 'where this plant is growing there is cancer.'

Eimear:  That's right. He was talking about dandelions. He actually said that he was an Oncological Molecular Research Fellow. That was his title. [Renate laughs] And he said what they do, they investigate how to make people's lives better. And he said one of the things that they had noticed was that dandelions grew in profusion where there was a high incidence of cancer.

Renate:  Interesting...

Eimear:  And he said, 'we don't know why that is; we're trying to work that out.' Ah, he told me so many things about different plants and, you know, about healers being people who people like to speak to, and that it was important that you have space and that you get away from mobile phones. There was so much advice. And this man just knew; to me he symbolised truth and knowledge. He just was so knowledgeable of so many things.

Renate:  And do you think he was real?

Eimear:  He was real to me.

Renate:  Yes. And then he disappeared?

Eimear:  And then he just said 'goodbye,' and I turned around and he was gone.

Renate:  Yeah. It's interesting, you know, how we can interact with plants and how we... You know, I have a garden too, and a field, and going into Nature I often look where nettles are growing. And I always get the feeling when there are patches or areas where nettles are, I feel the energy is darker. And then... I mean, I learned a lot about herbs and plants from my grandmother, and I know the nettle is a cleansing plant.

Eimear:  That's right, yeah.

Renate:  And then I realised, yes, that's the reason — that is what they have to do; that's why they grow here.

Eimear:  That they have a purpose.

Renate:  Yes, yes. And I watch sometimes even, competitions between plants where one plant tries to overtake another plant which is growing next to it. [laughs] It's fascinating to watch nature; how it communicates with each other.

Eimear:  Yeah. It is, isn't it, amazing even with moss and grass, you know, there's a very... a trick of balance, isn't there, with it all?

Renate:  Yeah. So what your experience also was — after your experience with the hawthorn tree, with Love — that your body, everything started to change. And your body started to wake up, and it was like — I have it written down [looks at notes] — your body is 'radiant all the time and reprogramming every cell,' and it's like for you... the experience is like your system is upgraded. And you also said your ego is gone. Now, I'm very curious about that — how an ego just can go. [laughs] So I want to talk with you about that. How do you experience 'the ego is gone'? How do you experience your body changing and everything is upgrading? I mean, I have my theory around that, but I would like to know your experience.

Eimear:  It's just, I suppose, I started to just take note of what was happening. And when I had the experience with the hawthorn it came into my head and my heart — that's where I felt it, you know, first of all. But it trickled down then. Over the years it trickled down.

Renate:  What helped it to trickle down?

Eimear:  I don't know. It was just... there was an enormous energy all the time, and I don't know why it trickled down, but that's the way it worked for me, in that there was just enormous energy vibrating all the time that weakened and weakened over the years. And then the last couple of years I have felt it's started to come back up. It was like as if it had to make its way all the way down and then it starts to make its way back up. It's only if you pay attention to it, I think, that you can...

Renate:  Yes, yes. Well, you only recognise things like that if you're connected to your body. [laughs]

Eimear:  Yes, yeah, that's true, yeah.

Renate:  You know, all our unconscious is in our body and that's where it actually — also in my own experience — needs to be... it's like the cells, the body needs to wake up.

Eimear:  Exactly. It couldn't stay the same when you have an amazing experience like that, because it is energetic; so it has to change.

Renate:  It has to change but it doesn't always change. I think with some people it just stays more up here [holds hands up beside her head] and does not get embodied. It's a much more female thing that we start integrating the body.

Eimear:  Yes, yes.

Renate:  And with the integration... eventually our experience, our awakening, has to sink into the heart.

Eimear:  Yes.

Renate:  And that seemed to happen naturally with you; it's not something you were working on...

Eimear:  Not at all, no.

Renate:  ... you just gave it space.

Eimear:  Exactly. I just... I've never been afraid of it; I've just watched it, and just to see what changes it brings and to see...

Renate:  And if something would come up — like an emotion would come up — what did you do with that, or what did you do in this moment?

Eimear:  It's not that you feel at peace all the time; you let the emotions come in and you see what it says to you. But you know that at the end point of every problem, or of every joy, is Love. So it doesn't trouble you. But we are human; you can't not feel.

Renate:  No, but that is the key. You know, it's the key, what you just said: it comes in and you don't do anything with it. You just allow it; and that is what needs to happen; that is how emotions get integrated or metabolised and everything is allowed to be there.

Eimear:  Yes. Because everything belongs, good or bad...

Renate:  Yeah, but if you look at how people live their life, it's completely disconnected. Okay, they get angry and they shout and things like that, but most of the time hardly anybody is aware what is going on in their body.

Eimear:  Oh, I totally agree with you, yeah.

Renate:  You said something very beautiful — let me see if I find it [looks at notes]. One thing you said which I liked: 'When I'm communicating without words but by sensory exchange, boundaries and differences are less apparent; it highlights what is common rather than what is different.' I liked that, you know, in that way, going through nature. But we are going through nature and think, okay, this is an apple tree; this is that. And we create these boundaries.

Eimear:  Exactly. But that's our culture, isn't it? Everything has a definition.

Renate:  It's how we teach children.

Eimear:  It is, yeah. And we think everybody, everything should have a boundary. But we don't imagine that we can communicate with Nature because we've never been told we can communicate with Nature. So when you let go of the boundaries and when you sense, it is a whole different way of communicating.

Renate:  Yeah, so I am interested in that sensing where, I think — I don't know if you said it —  'senses are the most accurate tools for perception into awareness.' So can you say more about that, this sensing, you know? So you were talking about listening and...

Eimear:  All of our senses. We're not just physical beings; we're energetic beings; so surely our senses are energy moving. And, I mean, science shows that now, doesn't it, that our interaction with a plant or with the environment has an effect on the environment. So when we, in our hearts, feel, and by energy-transfer let a plant know that we think it's beautiful, or that we recognise its beauty or its smell or its touch, surely that plant can feel that too. Our energy transforms; must be recognised by it. I believe — I know — it does.

Renate:  Well, every thing needs a mirror. Every thing, not only we, but also Nature, also God. That's why we are created in the first place.

Eimear:  Exactly, yeah. Like it is a reciprocal experience, life. We're not an island. It's not just about our bodies; it's how our bodies communicate and interact with other bodies and with other forms. Because all... I think that's what our relationship with nature should be: a spiritual relationship. Like we only ever think of nature as, you know, aesthetic or practical or functional; or we might think that our relationship with it should be as a steward or a caretaker. But it's actually how we feel and how we interact with it. It's the spiritual aspect to living is what we're missing.

Renate:  Well, I guess that one day you'll have to teach people that. [laughs]

Eimear:  Wouldn't that be great! Yeah. You know, this life is... I think it's a much richer experience then.

Renate:  Yeah, sure. It would be a different world.

Eimear:  Wouldn't it! Because it is so beautiful, and to acknowledge that beauty...

Renate:  So, tell me, when you go into nature, how do you... how do you sense everything? How [do you] communicate?

Eimear:  I feel it. I just feel it. It's like... you know in meditation people say we 'go in.' I always go out. So when I sit in the garden, I go out [opens her arms]. It's like as if I allow myself to be seen.

Renate:  Because that's also who you are.

Eimear:  Yeah... yeah. So there is no... I don't see any difference. It just allows me to expand when I go into nature. I become much more, but I take on much more.

Renate:  What do you mean, you 'take on much more'?

Eimear:  Because all the beauty around you — it is also you; you are also it. So there is no boundary or no definition; it is just beauty... in all its forms and all its expressions whether it be touch or light or the breeze...

Renate:  So how do you see... what is happening to you, or your senses, when you see something like wars, like how sometimes children are treated, how nature is treated. How is that for you, being so connected with everything?

Eimear:  You feel the pain; but you also know at the end of every extreme, is love. So you can see that it's just... when people don't see love, they don't live love. So you don't blame, you know; there is no blame in it; it's unconditional love, isn't it? There is nothing wrong; it's just that they don't see. There is nothing to forgive because it's just that they don't see, and they don't feel. But you still feel the pain and injustice and hurt and, you know, you will always feel that. It doesn't take away pain.

Renate:  What I experience is, it doesn't take away pain but it takes away suffering.

Eimear:  Exactly. I think suffering is a choice, you know. I think we can choose to suffer. When we see, we know that; it's when we're in the middle of suffering it's not easy to see that. But I think if you suffer long enough you decide...

Renate:  You have enough...

Eimear:  You have enough [Renate laughs] — you know what I mean — that there has to be another way.

Renate:  So you were telling me your ego is gone?

Eimear:  Yes, because it's not about me...

Renate:  Does that mean your... all your unconscious patterning, patterns, all your unconscious belief structure, all that has transformed?

Eimear:  Yes, because the only thing, the only guidance, the only compass now, is Love. It's that feeling; I go back all the time to the feeling of the Hawthorn. And you always know what's right or wrong — it becomes natural after a while — that is your compass point.

Renate:  And is there nothing which can throw that?

Eimear:  Oh, there is, yeah; but you know how to get back. You're human of course, but you always know where your central point is. And, about the ego, you see... it's nothing about you anymore. Life isn't about me. I'm important in that I am the conduit, or I am an expression, but it's not for me... it's a bigger picture; it's about Love. It's not about me. And that's where the ego changes. And that actually gives you more confidence in a way because it isn't about you; because you have nothing to prove and you have nothing to lose; because it is always for the bigger picture. It is this bigger perfection that is your motivation. So that's where the ego has gone. And, like, even coming in speaking to you today, you know, you push yourself because...

Renate:  And you feel nervous...

Eimear:  And you feel nervous, exactly, as you know. [both laugh] But you push yourself because it is for a bigger thing, and you know that it is the only important thing; that's what you're...

Renate:  That's why life needs you.

Eimear:  Exactly. So you are important. [both speak at once] Sorry?

Renate:  And it's expected from you.

Eimear:  Exactly, yeah.

Renate:  And in the end we have to surrender to that, like you say, to the bigger picture.

Eimear:  Yeah. I mentioned to you earlier that it's like as if we're a feather on the breath of God — that, you know, we're important; we are the feather, but where we end up and what we do is a bigger picture...

Renate:  Such a beautiful image — the feather flying on the breath of God into nowhere, and you just have to follow.

Eimear:  But it makes it very exciting, doesn't it?

Renate:  It should! [both laugh] Sometimes it's frightening!

Eimear:  It is frightening at times, yeah, but you have to — I think that's what I've learned — is to trust. And that's a huge thing to learn because you sort of hand over your life in a way. Because I could never make it up better, you know, no matter... I think we interfere too much; if we could just... It's much easier when you don't have to organise it. [laughs]

Renate:  That's right, yes.

Eimear:  So whereas it's terrifying on one hand, it makes it easier on the other.

Renate:  So... you got these five points [looks at notes]. One time you had this experience where two words came very strong, and they were...?

Eimear:  Women, and simplicity.

Renate:  Yes. And then you received like a picture of a cake...

Eimear:  Oh, that's right, yeah. This was, you know, after the hawthorn instance, those two words stayed with me. I knew they were important somehow.

Renate:  But did you know what it meant?

Eimear:  No, no. Women and simplicity. I suppose the simplicity thing was I knew then I wasn't to follow somebody else; I wasn't just to learn explanations; that I was to try and describe it in a simple way. And I was left with a picture of a cake, which is really unusual, isn't it? [laughs] And it is a very unusual cake. It's sort of a greeny-yellow colour and it isn't tiered as normal, it's sort of like a vortex: it's sort of one tier blends into the other, and there are little pieces of icing on it. But I was just left with this vision of a cake. And that was the information that I received that day with Hawthorn. It was as if I had been given a taste of this exquisite cake, and that it was up to me to receive and to find the clues, you know, the recipe and the ingredients; how to put it all together, and to then share how it should be put together.

Renate:  And then share it with women. [laughs]

Eimear:  And share it with women.

Renate:  Or with the feminine aspect of life.

Eimear:  Yeah, yeah. And that's the way... that's the way I have worked with it. So, little bits of information...

Renate:  And so you found, in the meantime you found the five ingredients to this cake?

Eimear:  Well, I think so. I think that might be the bottom layer. [both laugh]

Renate:  So let's go through these five ingredients... shall I read them or...

Eimear:  Do, yeah, you can give me the header points.

Renate:  Okay, so, 'Life Is Beautiful.'

Eimear:  Yes. Life Is Beautiful, is the first truth.

Renate:  Yeah, and then, 'We Are Held Always.'

Eimear:  Held Always, yeah.

Renate:  'All Reality Is Continuous.'

Eimear:  Yes.

Renate:  'All Reality is Unitive.'

Eimear:  Yeah.

Renate:  And, 'Love Is All There Is.'

Eimear:  Yeah. The source and the end. And they're the five truths that I write about in the book.

Renate:  Yes. Do you want to just say a few words to...

Eimear:  Well, the first one is that idea that we're worthy, you know, that we don't need our roles or anything material to validate us; that we are expressions of beauty and we are worthy. And that's all we need to flower and to bloom and to be our... live our fullest selves.

Renate:  Yeah. I mean, that is so true and yet it's so difficult to reach because so many layers are in between, which makes us not believe in that. So people need an experience like you, awakening I guess, to start working on all these layers...

Eimear:  Yeah, but that's the simplicity thing. I sort of think of it, you know... if it happened to me it can happen to anybody. It's a very real knowing, isn't it? and accessible.

Renate:  And then the second was, 'We Are Held Always.'

Eimear:  That's, I suppose, a bit like the trust as well, isn't it? That we don't have to control our lives; that we are held in the pain and we are held in the joy; that we're loved through it all, or loved through all our efforts. We are held; we are all of us loved.

Renate:  How can you come to this trust?

Eimear:  I think, just start. Just try. Just to try a different way, just see, you know. Put it out there and see how life shows up for you then. We don't always have to know where we're going. And we sort of act I think sometimes as if we're God; we try and know all the answers. We try and make sure everything's secure. But if we just accept that we don't have all the answers, then we don't have to be God.

Renate:  And that we are sitting on a feather; don't know where it goes.

Eimear:  Yeah... yeah. You know, I think if we start by living love and just... and not having all the answers, accepting that...

Renate:  Well, yes, that's true, but I think the first and biggest step is that you feel this love for yourself before you can feel it for anything else.

Eimear:  Exactly. That is the first truth: that I am worthy. And I think it's important then to make — especially for women — to make time for ourselves, you  know, to give ourselves the... to be nice to ourselves and to take a bit of time. Because it is difficult with family and that, isn't it, to get time that you can call your own. And I think very often we forget to look after ourselves.

Renate:  That's right. And then the third point is 'All Reality Is Continuous.'

Eimear:  Yeah. That's one of the first things that I knew straight off: we are just spiritual beings in a continuous form. That we just... our forms change but we are continuous.

Renate:  Yes. And in your experience, you were telling me that your mother was dying of cancer and shortly afterwards your father was dying of cancer, and this was a very rough time for you; exhausting time. But you knew she's not dying.

Eimear:  Yeah. It was actually a really beautiful time, with Dad especially. Because once he knew himself he was dying — it took him a few days to get his head around it — but then he enjoyed every minute and saw the beauty in every minute. And he knew that I saw the beauty in every minute. So I found it a really precious time. And you know that they're not gone. I know they're not gone; I've often felt them around me.

Renate:  I know. I had this when my son, one of my sons, died some years ago; that's what I had, the feeling: I cannot touch him anymore or hug him and give him a kiss but he's always there, never separate from me.

Eimear:  It's very comforting, isn't it?

Renate:  It is, yeah.

Eimear:  And do you sense that, or...?

Renate:  Yeah, at times, and at other times he's gone, doing whatever he has to do. [laughs]

Eimear:  Wherever he is... yeah... yeah.

Renate:  And so... and 'All Reality Is Unitive.'

Eimear:  Yes. That's that we're not individual. It is that my energy affects your energy; it affects the flowers [points to flowers on table]; our energies are entwined and communicative. They're in constant... it is a reciprocal relationship, so every experience counts, whether it's cooking the dinner or whether it's gardening or whether it's speaking or... Every experience and everything we do...

Renate:  ... affects everything else.

Eimear:  Affects everything else, and creates an atmosphere, and creates our world. So it is our intention and our awareness to what we do that creates our reality. So there isn't any just spiritual time or meditation time; it is... your life becomes a meditation.

Renate:  Yeah. There's nothing outside life. And then the last point is 'Love Is All There Is.' And the beauty of these five points is, it all came through your own embodied experience.

Eimear:  Yeah. I've been very lucky; I find it amazing. I feel very privileged to have been gifted this through my own experience.

Renate:  That's right; that grace came to you. You were showered with grace.

Eimear:  Absolutely, yeah.

Renate:  Any plans how you're going to continue your journey? [laughs]

Eimear:  It is a big adventure [both laugh]. I know my work can only be about this. I've another book ready to write and it has been a long ten years to get to this point, you know, because it has been ten years in the making.

Renate:  Since you realised the nature of reality, or life.

Eimear:  Yeah. So I'm looking forward to the adventure [laughs]. You know, I'd like to... it has to involve the garden and writing and speaking. So, yeah, I'm looking forward to it.

Renate:  Beautiful. Well, we wish you all the best and good luck with everything. And we have to finish now.

Eimear:  Thank you, Renate.

Renate:  And I'll mention again your book, The Garden Path Home to Eden [holds up the book]. This is just a photocopy but the real book is on its way. And if you'd like to get any more information, please get in contact with Eimear via...

Eimear:  I have a Facebook page, my email is there.

Renate:  What's the name of your FaceBook page?

Eimear:  Mana Gardens.

Renate:  Mana Gardens. Yes, okay. Thank you for being with us.

Eimear:  Thank you, Renate, for having me. It's been a great pleasure. I'm delighted to be able to share my story.

Renate:  Yes, a beautiful story.

And thank you for watching conscious.tv and I'll see you again soon. Bye-bye.

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