Mike was obsessed with becoming enlightened since childhood - for him that was the point of living. He knew from an early age that the voice in his head wasn't him. He had some terrifying experiences of no-self which led to panic attacks and depression. Eventually he decided that he needed to drop the desire for enlightenment and somehow fix his life; after a time, he was much happier. He then had the experience that ended his search for enlightenment. Mike said, "There's just the impersonal flow of awareness being everything without exception, no way to get it and no way to get out of it. It basks in the ordinary and mundane as well as the fireworks."